Why I will never work for Violence Against Women:

In early 2011, as part of my work, I went to Pune to document our partner’s work with survivors of violence primarily domestic. I spent the whole day with the lawyer activist discussing the topic and trying to understand its various aspects. I saw and heard the cases which had just come in while I sat there in the office. Then I went out to talk to a few survivors themselves and know of their stories.

At the end of the day, while waiting for a cool cab to take me back to Mumbai, I finally got some time to review what I had seen and heard throughout the day. And it was then that it hit me. I stood there clutching my stomach as wave after wave of nausea coursed through me.  I was suddenly desperate to come back to the warmth of my home. Next day I went to office and told my manager NEVER again to send me for work on this theme.

That one day in a tier one city made me realise a lot of things. That all this while I, like others, had happily chosen to ignore this issue as something which happened only in the lower income strata. That violence can take such ghastly forms and proportions that it becomes unbelievable. That we live in a society so SO sick, that it has begun to scare me.  That people, rather men, can go to any extent for greed and power....it doesn't matter if it’s your 70 years old mother, 12 years old daughter or a newly wedded wife.

Over the years I have come to question why we talk about violence as only a women’s issue. When the focus is just on the women as victims or survivors, the perpetrators or the men are relegated to the background and their behaviour accepted. It’s left to the women to survive and try and lead a next to normal life.

Well, I do not think it’s an issue related to women at all. For me, it’s an issue related more to the society in general and men in particular. Isn't it strange that in most of the cases of violence (in any form), the perpetrators are men? It’s the men who are violent not only against women, but they are violent against children and other men too. So, shouldn't we as a society start to see and accept the problem in its right perspective? And more importantly, shouldn't men start to introspect as to why is it that only they tend to behave like that? Women, who are survivors of abuse and violence even as a kid, do not grow up to become perpetrators themselves. The same sadly can’t be said about men.

Over the years, I have gained tremendous respect for all the women and men working tirelessly on this issue under so much of negativity and surrounded by so much of despair.  

The lawyer activist had told me that one learns to build a defense mechanism else they could be easily pulled down.   

   

As for me, I am just not brave enough. And for the sake of my emotional sanity, I prefer to stay away.

  

Let My Himalayas Be:

I think I am a very bad person.

When the news of the Uttrakhand tragedy broke on Facebook, my instant comment on a friend’s post was “I am neither surprised nor sad". Over the days, with more stories surfacing on the massive scale of destruction and lives lost, not a single one could affect me greatly. Each time I read the news, a smug satisfaction filled me and I would silently say to myself; “Well done Nature, now they will understand why they shouldn’t mess up with you”.   

Last year in Oct, I had travelled through Rudraprayag and Chamoli to reach Lata village bordering the Nanda Devi Biosphere Reserve. The sheer mass of concrete all around, blasting of mountains for roads, hundreds of vehicles on roads, dust haze, plastic floating on the green rivers and construction of four dams in a 150km stretch had left me feeling devastated. (my earlier post on Uttrakhand)

I came back and spoke to a couple of NGOs, environmentalists and dug up stories in Down to Earth and what I found left me astounded, shattered and feeling utterly helpless.  Because it’s not just Uttrakhand which is leading the devastation, the entire Himalayan eco-system ranging from Himachal to Arunachal is at stake.

Information sourced from the citizens’ report - The Energy State and the Tragedy of its Rivers*

• 200 tunnel-based hydroelectric power projects have been announced to achieve the target of generating 24,876 MW of electricity. The majority of these are to be built in Zone IV & V of this earthquake prone state where landslides and floods are very common. The 200 power projects envisage a construction of 700 km of tunnels that will be built through the eco-fragile mountains.
•  Around 2 to 2.2 million people living in villages under which these tunnels pass are being affected. There was no Public Hearing before the construction of Singoli-Bhatwadi Hydroelectric Project (90 MW) started. The affected villages got to know only when they started cutting down their trees for the project. A 13 km long tunnel will be constructed for this project and it will run under 26 villages.
• The tunnel of the Vishnuprayag Hydroelectric Project (400 MW) is 16 km long and extends between Lambagad and Chaain villages. Four tunnels of this project go from under Chaain village to the power house. In September/October 2007, unexpectedly, land started collapsing and sinking in and around this village.
• During the construction of the tunnel for this project five natural water sources in the village of Chaain had dried up. A 1 km long irrigation channel that supplied water to the village has become redundant.

Information sourced from the report – Damming Northeast India **

•  In a study in 2001, 168 hydro power projects were identified in the Brahmaputra basin with a total installed capacity of 63,328 MW. Till October 2010, the government of Arunachal Pradesh had already allotted 132 projects to companies in private and public sector for a total installed capacity of 40,140.5 MW. Around 120 of these involve agreement with private players accompanied by huge monetary advances.
• Environmental Impact Assessment (EIAs) necessary to approve any power projects have been a farce in India and so it is in the case of NE.  For example - the EIA for the 1,000 MW Siyom project lists 5 bird species in an area which has over 300 species and even in this short list has one which is non-existent; the EIA for the 600 MW Kameng project reclassifies carnivores such as the red panda, pangolins and porcupines as herbivores; the EIA for the 2,000 MW Lower Subansiri lists 55 species of fish in a river which has at least 156 species and reports an area called the ‘Arctic’ in the Eastern Himalayas.
• Virtually all available arable land in the affected Siang valley will be submerged by the 2700MW Lower Siang project.
• States like Arunachal Pradesh and Sikkim are home to small populations of culturally sensitive indigenous communities. The entire population of Idu Mishmi tribe in Dibang valley is 9500 and their displacement by 17 projects has been termed as ‘small’. Moreover, the projects will bring in more than 150,000 labourers from outside for a long time which will completely change the demographic and socio-cultural identity of the region.

Damming all the rivers in the bio-diversity hotspot of Arunachal

Soon Teesta and Rangeet will stop being free-flowing rivers

Information sourced from Down to Earth ***

• A study of 132 dams out of 292 that were proposed or were under construction in 2005, showed that there would be one reservoir every 3000 sqkm which is 62 times the global dam density.
• 90% of the river valleys and 25% of dense forests in the Indian Himalayas would be affected. Over 54,117 hectares of forests would get submerged while 114,361 hectares would be damaged by dam related activities.
• 88% of the projects fall in zones rich in plant, bird, fish and butterfly species.

It surprises me immensely that nobody has found it imperative to do a cumulative impact study of more than 600 dams and other projects on the Himalayan eco-system. I am even more surprised that by virtue of being in the Himalayas, these States which should be much more responsible to its people, the rest of the country and the world are hell bent on destroying the future. When will somebody, anybody wake up from slumber and realize that the Himalayas are special, an absolute necessity for our survival and that we need to treat them, its lovely communities and its eco-system differently?

Just when will they let my beloved mountains be before it’s all too late?

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Sources:

The Energy State and the Tragedy of its Rivers - Suresh Bhai; Raksha Sutra Andolan, Jal Sanskriti Manch, Nadi Bachao Andolan Uttarkashi, Himalaya Seva Sangh; Uttarkashi, 2009.

 Damming Northeast India – Joint report by Neeraj Vagholikar (Kalpavriksh), Partha J. Das (Aaryanak) and Action Aid India, 2010.

Himalayan Destruction – Down to Earth, January 2013

Maps – Sanctuary Asia, maps adapted from the Department of Hydropower Sikkim and Arunachal Pradesh

A letter to my Earth:

My beloved Earth,

If you ask me when was it that I fell in love with you, I will not be able to pinpoint a time. If you ask me when was it that I became aware of you, I will not be able to pinpoint that time either. Because if I look back at my life and at my earliest memories, I can tell you that I was born loving you and that I was aware of you always.

My first memories of myself are that of a two year old tottering around the orchard surrounding the house. I remember being fascinated by the huge mango and custard apples trees laden with fruits ready to be plucked. I grew up on stories my father used to tell my sister and me while I sat on his lap - of Phantom and Tarzan. I used to listen to the stories captivated not because of the strength and valour of the super heroes but because they lived in the jungles with animals as friends. I grew up wishing for a life just like that....deep in the jungles with trees and animals as friends.

Some of the happiest moments in my childhood were the times I spent with you.....shaking off the dew collected at the base of the yellow and orange cannas, searching for spiders under the flowers, climbing trees, collecting beautiful coloured stones and pebbles from the sand mounds, observing the caterpillar weaving a cocoon, running out to feel the strength of the wind during storms, sitting at the window and getting drenched by the rain.

Oh, how I still wish for that life closer to you....of walking through a field of swaying golden grass, feeling the mellow sun on my skin and the breeze in my hair, of the blue mountains in the distance and the blue sky above....feeling free.

But all I can see now is the spread of concrete and commodities with no regards to your very existence. I can see your beautiful mountains, rivers, forests shrinking, drying up....like a poisonous scab slowly seeping the life blood out of you. How did it ever come to this in so short a time span? I am scared to look into the future, I am scared for you. And every time I think of the future, a strange claustrophobia grips me. Because I know that soon enough, there will be no real escape left.

How I wish I could apologise to you on behalf of my fellow humans and make it all go away. How I wish I could shake each one of them and tell them to stop before it’s too late. I don’t know what the future holds but all I know is that I just can’t let go of you.

And I only hope that, despite whatever happens to you, you will not give up and let go of me.

Yours ever,

A weary wayfarer seeking sanctuary

Imprints of a Journey:

I travel for the journey, the never ending road that becomes your home, the beauty of experiencing the ever changing scenery, culture and people, the ecstasy of freedom...of leaving everything behind and the longing to keep journeying further and never return. Almost all the places I have travelled to have left some imprints with me like Corbett NP where I realised for the first time that all I wanted to do in life was to keep travelling, the mysterious pull of the ruins at Nalanda, the quaint tiny station of Rameshwaram which sprang to life as the only train of the day pulled in ever so slowly, an evening at the beautiful Brihadeshwara temple of Tanjore where life didn’t seem to have changed much for centuries, the strong energy that one could still feel amongst the ruins of Hampi, the torrential rain and the deep dark forest of Binsar, the walk on the empty road to Borra Caves where the echo of a train whistle filled up the entire valley.

But then, there are also places which have left a deep impact on me and these are the places where I would want to go back again and again irrespective of the pleasures of a journey. 

Ladakh:

A gruelling trek from dry Kibber across an 18500ft pass to Rupshu Valley in Ladakh threw us right into the heart of raw nature. All around us were the stark mountains, harsh weather and numerous ‘mis’ adventures. On nights when I wouldn’t be dead tired from the day’s walk, I would remain outside after everybody had slept off. On those nights, despite bone numbing cold wind, I would sit mesmerised by the trillions of stars in the sky feeling utterly tiny in the vastness of universe. For me that defined real life, right there in the middle of those mountains and not what we lead in the cities. On the penultimate day, when we were sitting atop the Leh Palace gazing across the mountains, a sublime Buddhist chant floated up from the town below. Coming back to Delhi and resuming daily life was traumatic that year for me.        

Arunachal:

A description for this place eludes me. It’s complex in its natural beauty and simplicity. The same can be said for its people. This is the only place in my travels across the country where I, as a woman, felt totally free and safe. This is the place where I could run (or walk) around in wild abandon (mentally) whopping with joy.  In Itanagar, you could sense the frustration amongst the youth for not being treated as Indians by others; in Tawang, people were scared and preparing for a time when it might be taken over by China. Though tribal identities are very strong, people here are one of the friendliest if you win their trust. My friend and I had a chance meeting with Tapi Mra (an Everester) who went out of his way to ensure we got the right seats in the right vehicle to our next destination.  

Chhattisgarh:

Rewind to a time, to a rural India of five or six decades back. That is the innocence one finds in Chhattisgarh along with high levels of poverty. But what struck me about the place was the presence of a primeval energy. It felt as if nature thrived for centuries undisturbed by humans – until now. Trees are massive here growing and spreading out as far as possible with each and every tree having a distinct character. And deep inside the forests, if you whisper to the trees....they whisper back to you. All you have to do is listen.    

Monsoon in the Konkan and Sahyadri:

Every year, the transformation with the onset of rains leaves me astounded. I love the rains anywhere but in the Western Ghats, it turns magical. The dark grey clouds rolling in from the tumultuous grey sea turns everything into a carpet of green. The consistent drizzle that characterised monsoon in the east during my childhood is nowhere close to the heavy downpours of the west. Like the village communities who go about their daily lives with a conical bamboo and plastic cover on their heads, we also have learnt to negotiate the rains here. However what becomes difficult to negotiate during these days is the call of far-away lands and the pull of the churning dark clouds.         

Enter at Your Own Risk:

I worked for more than a decade in advertising and media where the general attitude to life is largely ‘sab kuch chalta hain’.  Then I shifted to a rights based organisation where the general feeling towards life is ‘kuch bhi sahi nahin chalta hain’. If you are weak hearted, this kind of tectonic shift can be traumatic. So if you are thinking of working for a rights based NGO, I would advice - 

                                                          (source: www.http://maa01.soup.io/)

Life is an Issue. Seriously!

Q: What books do you read?

A: Manto, P. Sainath, Ramchandra Guha, Noam Chomsky or any book which talks on or is based on an issue.

Q: Have you read Sophie Kinsella or Georgette Heyer?

A: What ARE they?

Q: What do you think of Sholay?

A: It just shows the ‘majority’ mentality by naming a village RAMgarh. Media is so insensitive to minority issues.

Q: How about Bend it like Beckham?

A: Oh, they have highlighted women’s issue so well.

You crack Joke 1: It’s so sexist and anti women!

You crack Joke 2: It puts so and so community down!

You crack Joke 3:  Its child abuse!

You crack Joke 4: By now you learn not to crack jokes at all or crack only politically right jokes.

Corporate = Capitalist = All things Terrible:

Oh, we sometimes DO look at corporates benevolently.  At times we feel that it’s our duty to teach them about humanity and rights. Can we learn anything from the corporates? Well, you must be out of your mind.

In a scenario where we are looking more and more into getting funds from within the country (read corporates and individual donors also from corporates!), I wonder whether being so ideological is such a good idea. 

Ideological Stereotyping:

‘Poor’ = always the sufferer = Good people

‘Rich’ = ‘what the hell do they understand about grassroot issues anyway?’= Elitist

I want to know just how many of us (from an NGO) would forgo a job which pays us double the current salary or forgo an increment because it will make us richer and hence more ‘elite’. Well, I left a well paying sector on my own volition, but that hasn't stopped me from waiting greedily for the year end increment.  

  

Corporate Life is the root of all Evil (not so overtly though):

A typical day in a media house and how men and women behave: Regular bonhomie, shouting during stressful situations, abuse one another openly, back slapping while chatting, party hard after work, drink, smoke, joke, pull each others’ legs, wear any type of cloth (read funky) and nobody will bat an eyelid. 

A typical day in a rights based organisation and how men and women behave: Most jokes are cracked by women. Men, I get the feeling, keep the women at a safe distance so as not to offend them in ANY way. A strange silence descends if a woman is seen smoking or drinking. Some men get uncomfortable with women wearing anything different than what is generally accepted (I will leave it up to you to guess what that is).

The World is divided into Two Groups:

There are only two sets of people we like to acknowledge - community people (including ourselves) and the government. Government is still appalling but it’s important to keep them engaged in dialogue. The rest of the society and their sentiments do not matter. Who are they anyway? Public facing campaigns are a waste of time and money and a few ‘Likes’ on Facebook is hardly likely to achieve anything.      

Though I strive hard to understand this side of life and viewpoint, I still do not agree to all the ideologies due to which I have been branded a Capitalist (for trying to justify the psychology of ‘the other side’ and finding the concept of equality utopian), an Environmentalist (because I prefer Nature to humans ANYtime) and a person requiring Gender training (because I refuse to be called a Feminist and think that population really needs to be controlled).  

It’s been a fun job for me so far!

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*some parts are exaggerated to emphasise a point and is not meant to demean anyone.  

I am not a Feminist.

To this statement, women who are one will always ask the ‘ultimate’ question in an effort to clinch the argument for once and all: ‘Don’t you believe in gender equality? If yes, you are a Feminist too.’ Very few women will ever give an answer in the negative to that….to which a smug happiness settles into their beings.

Well, maybe I am the only woman who will answer in the negative. No, I don’t believe that we can achieve equality, gender or otherwise. We humans as a race are far low in the level of consciousness to consider others as equal. We shall forever discriminate each other on the basis of gender, colour, race, creed, religion, money and other petty or mindless things. ‘Equality’ now and in the next few centuries will remain an utopian concept. Even most of the communist countries or states have failed in proving otherwise.

What I am dead against is… being Unfair. It’s unfair to treat women with so much violence, it’s unfair not to be able to lead a free life, it’s unfair to knowingly exploit people belonging to the ‘lower caste’ or treat them with disdain, it’s unfair to abuse little kids, it’s unfair to forcibly evict tribals from their land and life.   

To all women (and men), feminists or otherwise, I will say that I am a person first and a woman later. I have chosen to live my life my way and not because I have faced and hence forced by subtle discriminations against me. I Have chosen not to rise up the corporate ladder and not because of an invisible glass ceiling. I Chose not to climb Stok Kangri solely out of fear and not because others thought I was not as good as the ‘guys’. I Chose not to get married at the age when everybody else did and not because I did not have any ‘value’ in the marriage market. Since my childhood I have vehemently opposed and questioned people or ideas and beliefs that put me or my life is a societally-defined bracket.

To all women (and men), feminists or otherwise, I will say why do you have to be ‘equal’ to men! Why do men have to be the ultimate benchmark to which women have to strive for? If you really push me to tell, then I will say that I consider women to be far superior as human beings than men ever will be. Why would you want to be equal to somebody who usually is aggressive, perpetrator of most things bad and depraved, who likes violence and thrives on war, who likes to break law and do all things wrong. We have an entire history of civilizations and nations ruled by men and I am sure most will agree that the world is Very Far from being perfect.  

Deep in my heart I have a firm belief that the only way to right all the wrongs is to let the women come up and take control. We will not only have a much peaceful and a beautiful world, but we will also have ‘equality’ as you have envisaged it….in its truest sense.

Yes, I am a person who is a woman and a proud one at that. Just don’t bracket me so simply as a Feminist.      

Tiger Conservation for Dummies:

Why should we save The Tiger? Well, the explanation is as simple as this.

 (A bag with a message on conservation made by the women of a village near Pench National Park. These bags were made as part of the alternate livelihood program by Satpuda Foundation Volunteers) 

There’s always a predator on the top of the food chain in an eco-system....in India it’s the big cat. From the tiniest microbes found in the soil to the main predator, everybody and everything has a role in the eco-system and each is dependent on the other. So, predators help in keeping a check on the growth of the herbivorous population who then will not over-graze the forest land as a result of which many plants, trees, fungi, ferns, insects, birds and microbes etc can flourish and make the forest healthy or balanced. A healthy forest is always rich in water as trees help retain and conserve water. And a healthy food chain means a healthy forest which means lots of water!

So when people like us shout ‘Save the Tiger’, we actually mean ‘Save your life by saving the forests’.

Simply put, if there are lesser forests, there will be lesser rain and lesser water (surface and ground) leading to many seasonal rivers and lakes drying up. And for urban city people whose educated children think water comes from tankers, this learning will come way too late. 

We, the human species, are an aberration on Earth. We do not contribute to any eco-system. Instead we have always taken and destroyed the very place we are dependent and live on... just like parasites. As E.O. Wilson said, ‘If all of mankind were to disappear, the world would regenerate back to the rich state of equilibrium that existed ten thousand years ago. If insects were to vanish, the environment would collapse into chaos.’

We need our Earth and nature to live and survive. Nature does not need us.

The sooner we understand and respect this, the better for all of us.  

Some of the key and the last of the virgin forests / bio-diversity regions in India like Western Ghats, Central India Forest belt and the Eastern Himalayas are under deep threat from rampant illegal mining, giving out forest land for SEZs, power plants and other projects and increasing human population which have already greatly reduced these forests and key animal corridors. To top this, the government wants to destroy whatever is left to dig out coal for electricity.  If you want to do your bit to save the forests, start by being a part of this.