How I Shifted to an Earth-based Life:

Image: Bipasha M

One thing struck me while I was reading Pranay Lal’s page-turner ‘Indica’ which traces the deep natural history of India since the time Earth was formed. To me, it seemed as if Earth has been experimenting with herself and various life-forms as she journeyed from a spinning ball of molten iron to the most gorgeous of all planets in our solar system. By one explosion of a supervolcano here, and upping the temperature there, she would swipe the planet clean of the evolving life-forms and then start afresh. The current coronavirus pandemic, similarly also looks intelligently placed: only affecting the species that is causing her trouble, as a warning of what she is capable of doing if we do not pay more attention.

Like in any challenging situations or catastrophes, there will be sufferers, largely the poor, who end up bearing the brunt of something which they did not create in the first place. Keeping this societal paradox or injustice aside, I see this as a hugely opportune time to bring about far-reaching changes, to shift the tide of ‘business as usual’. Globally, it puts the spotlight on environment and our terrible disconnect with it, the lies upon lies about how nature and economy cannot go hand-in-hand, and people’s spiritual disconnect with themselves. In India, it puts the spotlight on an invisible, indispensable, yet an often discriminated against community of migrant labourers, and it gives women a huge opportunity to get men involved in household work and correct a societal order that provided undue privileges to them.

With the rise of Greta Thunberg’s ‘Fridays for Future’ movement and now the ecological concerns raised by the virus, many people have asked me as well as asking each other how to lead a more Earth conscious life. My foray into living a more conscious life was a result of yet another global challenge – the 2008 economic slowdown. I had lost my job, but it provided me an opportunity to shift from a much hated work life to something which made better sense to me. I joined an NGO which paid me 30% of what I used to earn. After a year and a half of not buying any new material stuff, I realized that I didn’t really need much material stuff in the first place. That experience started my evolution into a more earth-based living which I continued for the next ten years.

1) Getting into the circular economy: This happened out of necessity. Since I did not have enough money to buy new furniture, I bought a second-hand one. When my flatmate left the city, I bought a few things from her. Post that, I made a conscious decision not to buy anything new. So for the next ten years, all things in my house were hand-me-downs – cooking stove, fridge, utensils, jars, curtains, cushion covers, bedsheets, furniture, and even clothes. Trekking and travel items and work essentials like laptop, camera, and phone are the only things mine, which I haven’t changed in many years now. But I do accept gifts!

2) Going organic, going local: The idea here was to shift to healthy food and to our traditional food sourced locally. The spices, oil, pulses and grains were the easiest to change. I felt guilty of ordering organic vegetables only from Bigbasket (which didn’t use plastic for organic items!) as it added to emissions. So I would alternate between that, hypercity, and the tribal and east Indian bhaji walis who used to get seasonal and local green leafy vegetables early in the mornings. I also removed many MNC-produced processed food from my kitchen and added a whole lot of millets, barley, and rice products, basically food that were Indian. It helped that I was in the social sector – my travels would lead me to places and NGOs that would sell real honey, organically grown local grains, pulses, spices etc. which I never failed to pick up. A lot many NGOs also deliver online albeit a bit slow.

3) Choosing herbal over chemical: All products marked ‘natural’ or ‘herbal’ are not necessarily environmentally friendly. In India, it’s difficult to differentiate too well. However, there were two reasons for this shift: a) herbal/natural is any day better than chemical; b) there are numerous locally manufactured good products that are way better than the mass produced large company products. So, my house cleaning items, shampoos, soaps, lotions, cosmetics have all turned natural. Except detergent powder as I have not yet found a good substitute. And I use this minimally anyway; you don’t really need as much as ads say you need!

4) Castile soaps and vegan or responsibly sourced products: I came to know about castile soaps here and was happily surprised that they are available in India and that too at a fairly affordable price (for me). This has been my most recent shift. The other recent shift has been towards products which don’t add palm oil or source them responsibly, which is still a bit tricky to find out. I once wrote to Fabindia to check where they source their palm oil from, to which they said it’s responsibly sourced within India without actually mentioning the source. I have taken them at face value and use their products sometime. Products that use animal-testing have been off my list for a long time now.

5) Saying No to plastic: Clearly this needs a lot of work, because plastic is everywhere especially in the packaging. But the least I could do was carry my cloth bag at all times, reusing the same plastic pouches again and again at hypercity (sometimes fighting with the sales people who would eventually acquiesce), carrying my metal water bottle everywhere, using biodegradable (corn starch) dustbin liners, never ordering in unless absolutely necessary, carrying my own boxes to buy idlis, upma, or any other breakfast items, asking for glass tumblers at the tapri chai stalls, refraining from buying tetrapacks, using bamboo toothbrush, etc. I stored all the plastics from packaged items to give away to recyclers. Much later, I came to know that there are small enterprises in and around Mumbai/Thane who collect these plastics to make fuel from them. I also recycled even the smallest of the tetrapacks (if I ended up buying any) at Sahakari Bhandar even if it meant traveling from Malad to Fort for that.

6) Being aware of the source: The source of all materials that we use - from plastic, glass, fossil fuel, electricity, clothes etc. – is Earth. It’s easy to say no to plastic and fossil fuel and pick up any other alternate material available. But one has to do a bit of analysis to see if the alternate picked up is better or worse than what you previously used. For example aluminum that is extracted often at the cost of vast stretches of forests and tribal land. Electric cars are good but have you wondered where the electricity comes from in India? We are still dependent on coal which is mined in open-pits making it environmentally destructive. In India, where companies do not use sustainable business practices and hence we do not much choice unlike Germany (where people can choose renewable energy over others), we can still be more aware while making decisions. I have not thrown away the plastic bottles in my kitchen yet because I am trying to find something sustainable and earth-friendly like earthenware which seems readily available these days. To know more about the source of all our products, watch this.

7) Using less water: Small changes can lead to big savings like fixing a water saving device to all taps, using the shower at half the speed, and only half flushing the toilet when you pee. If it’s your own house, you can also add a rainwater harvesting system.

8) Segregating waste: This has thankfully become a mandate now but I have been segregating waste since the past ten years, much to the amusement of my friends. Though I knew that it would all land up in the same landfill, the only reason was that it became a bit easier for the kachrawalas to pick up stuff for recycling and earning money. Now that I have a terrace vegetable garden, I use some of the kitchen waste for composting.

9) Using environmentally friendly non-stick cookwares: I used the regular non-stickware for the longest time without knowing how toxic they are both from the health as well as environment perspective. Now I have shifted to environmentally-friendly ones and yes, it’s available here! Though they are not as good as the ones available in Europe and elsewhere.

10) Recycle and responsible disposing: When I was leaving Mumbai, I had tons of newspapers, plastics, e-waste, clothes etc. that I had to dispose off. My electric and electronic items were all given away to an e-waste company, newspapers and plastics I sold to an enterprise that used the money to support various NGOs, clothes and utensils I gave to my domestic help and also to Goonj (an NGO who reuses, upcycles used clothes).

11) Saying No to companies that promote profit at all cost: Two companies which tops this list are Reliance and Adani. I refuse to buy any of their products or use any of their services including mutual funds. This is not 100% foolproof because I am not fully aware of their subsidiary companies or associated or sub sub associated companies. But by moving to NGO products and products made by small enterprises, I have been able to reduce their intrusion in my life much. However, I had to use energy from Reliance as well as the metro system in Mumbai, and now I am paying my electricity bills to Adani in Delhi!

12) Using natural fibers: I wear largely cotton or khadi clothes. Even at weddings or parties. I have not been able to switch kitchen wipes (which uses micro-fibers) to clothe yet. And I also use fleece jackets during winter (which is polyester and micro-fibers or basically plastic) since I can’t afford the expensive woolen jackets yet. However, to assuage my guilt, I use jackets made from recycled fleece! Now, I want to try out clothes made from hemp!     

13) Using local travel: Mumbai is good that way, and now also Delhi with its excellent metro connectivity.  In Mumbai, I often used to offer lifts to people going the same way as me. In Delhi, I haven’t done that yet! I like to travel by trains and buses as much as I can but I do take flights depending on the distance and time at my disposal.

14) Switching to bamboo-based sanitary napkins: Finally! For years, I felt awful about not being able to switch to menstrual cups and using toxic regular pads. But now, with easy availability of bamboo-based sanitary pads and liners, I am finally guilt free. Now I am trying to figure out if there are any home incinerators that I can use to burn them instead of throwing them in the dustbin.

Image: Bipasha M

I am happy that for ten years in Mumbai, I managed to stick more or less fully to these choices. Things are not the same after I shifted back with my parents. Rise in expenses sometimes don’t leave you with much choice. Also I realized that it’s very difficult to change habits of people when they are old. For example, my father keeps getting polythene bags leading to much mental trauma for me and many fights with him. However, I have made my peace by continuing to do what is possible for me do within the restrictions.

If the pandemic with its physical isolation, more self-analysis time, and images of nature reclaiming its space inspires people enough to shift to a more conscious earth-based life, then I hope this list will make that journey a little bit easier. 

Oh by the way, I still buy books!

What Buddhist Philosophy Taught Me:

Disclaimer: This post is about what I gained from studying Buddhist Philosophy (from Tibet House) for a year. The topic is vast, deep, simple yet complex. If anyone wants to understand more on the subject, s/he would need to either enroll for the same or longer course or read original books written by ancient Buddhist scholars and masters.

Be kind to yourself. Be wisely kind to yourself.

This was the main ground or precept which formed the basis of Geshe La’s teachings - how to be kind, and then wisely kind to yourself. Buddhist philosophy and practices are meant to unravel part by part, thread by thread, the working of our psyche. Here psyche means the mind which is different from soul or consciousness. The mind, which creates layers and layers of illusions that we cling to so desperately, sometimes for lifetimes, in order to seek the elusive ‘happiness’. The step by step practices, therefore, help remove these layers of illusions and perceptions, by which we live, think, believe, and act, till the time we find the pure essence or the Buddha in ourselves.

Difficult, you would say. Actually its not.

Reality Vs Perception

Take for example these mundane conversations:

A: Is the pancake stiff?

B: I liked it.

_______

A1:  Have you been to Ladakh?

B1: Three times. Last time I stayed there for two months. It was awesome.

_______

A2: Yaar, I don’t want to continue with this corporate work anymore. I want to do something for the society, create an impact.

_______

In the first two, the answers are not in sync with the questions at all. Yet, most of our routine conversations are exactly like these. We don’t realize that the way we answer or have conversations can lead to different perceptions, which again add layers of further misconceptions as you go along in life. The third, though well meaning, is steeped in the ‘self’ – ‘I’ want to change the society. All three are rooted in the ‘Self’.

Buddhist philosophy has taught me how to recognize these ‘self-grasping’ and ‘self-centred’ attitudes which are based on ego and fear largely, understand why they are there in me and how they underline all aspects and relationships in my life, how to break these illusions that I have created around me, and seek true freedom.  

All the answers that you seek lie in understanding the ‘Self’. The more you are rid of these self-aggrandizing illusions, the more your reality changes. Like Shamanic traditions, Buddhist philosophy reiterates that we pause; listen and listen well; notice our reactions and actions; seek wisdom rather than just knowledge, from the right sources and our own lived experiences; practice and more practice and then some more; live mindfully and act rightly with love and compassion for all sentient and non-sentient beings; and live from your heart.

By focusing on understanding that our current reality is merely made up of layers and layers of perceptions created by us, we can break out of the cycles of “I will be happy if I can build a house in the mountains; I will be happy if I am commissioned by Nat Geo to do a story for them; I will be happy if I can get her to say yes; I will be happy if I can travel to 44 countries before I turn 44 etc.” 

And that’s where true happiness lies. In being Free.  

What is wrong with our men??!

Me: I am travelling in the hinterlands of UP.

Guy: That can be exciting too :-). You get cat calls there? :-D

Me: Next you will say rape is super exciting for us?

This whatsapp conversation happened just a few days after yet another gangrape victim was killed with impunity by her perpetrators in Unnao and protests by women across urban India were still going on. I was traveling in UP meeting grassroot women working in various sectors. Keeping aside their success stories, a single thread ran across the lives of these women – being subjected to abject and horrendous levels of violence. 

  

Violence was the underlying story of majority of the women in the state. This is the underlying story of majority of the women in our country. Forms of violence which have been normalized pervade the fabric of our society. It does not matter if you are rich or poor, educated or uneducated. It’s so deep rooted and seeped into all layers, that I find it difficult to believe that change can happen in my lifetime.

Hyderabad gangrape and murder; Unnao rape and murder by burning; Nirbhaya gangrape in the capital city; Kathua gangrape of a minor girl in a Devi-temple by men who came all the way from UP to participate; Rajasthan gangrape where a young girl ran naked for 1 km before she found help; hanging of Dalit girls by upper-caste men, gruesome sexual assault on adivasi woman by police so much so that her uterus is rejected by her body; beating a wife till she becomes unconscious or her skin falls off; kicking a pregnant woman in womb so she loses her child every time she becomes pregnant; pushing a daughter-in-law down the stairs for carrying a girl-child; forcing a wife to have sex because she has to submit to his needs by the virtue of marriage; burnt for not providing the money which was not theirs in the first place; asking for dowry from a would-be IAS daughter in-law for an IAS son just because he is a son; a father negotiating for money over the dead body his daughter, threatening the husband with an FIR, where a woman is reduced to mere money to be haggled over; child pregnancy because she is assaulted by upper-caste men and boys in her village; sexually abused by fathers, uncles, brothers, in-laws and others; adding the nine months of life in the womb to her actual age, so that she can be married off as early as possible; thrashed senseless because she dared to say that she wanted to complete her school education; threats of getting raped if she raised her voice in the community – tum janti nahin ho main kya kar sakta hoon; not being able to go to college because the neighbourhood boys make lewd gestures and cat calls.

These are the real life stories of many women across the country, their every day lived reality. 
   

Even if you move away from gender-based violence, and look at any other form of violence (and there is so much out there), the one underlying thread across all forms of violence is that it’s perpetrated by Men. Men are violent towards women. Men are violent towards children. Men are violent towards men. Men are violent towards other nations and communities. Men are violent towards nature.

It’s time our Men realize this and do a collective introspection on why violence has become their essence, almost running in their DNA.

Until then, we will remain a sick society, a very very sick society. 

Until then, all men will remain guilty.

Sillage (n.):

A brilliant day in Sikles, Annapurna Conservation Area. Photo: Bipasha M

The scent that lingers in the air, the trail left in the water, the impression made in space after something or someone has been and gone, the trace of someone’s perfume. (French)

The bus was packed – all seats occupied, spaces near the seats filled with luggage, jute sacks, cardboard boxes, gas cylinders and more luggage. I was about to get down when a woman in the seat next to the driver’s called out to me and shifted making a bit of a space for me. I squeezed in. There was a cardboard box kept below, so I put my feet on it and tried to make myself comfortable. Both the woman next to me and the man sitting behind the driver started saying something in Nepali. The urgency in their voice suggested I should not keep my feet on the cardboard box. The next ten minutes were spent by these two people trying to help me find a place to keep my feet, which finally was on somebody’s luggage.

The driver (guruji) finally started the bus. A few things moved and resettled including my leg position. Through hand gestures, actions and broken Hindi, we communicated. The box contained chickens which were being sent by somebody in Pokhara to their family in Sikles, a Gurung village high in the mountains. Both these un-related fellow travellers kept an eye out for the chickens during the journey up. Everybody was talking to everybody else as if they all knew each other. I was also pulled into their conversations even though I barely understood the language. Soon, they all knew that I was a ‘very brave’ woman travelling on my own from Pokhara to Sikles.

A few kilometers into the mountain and the bus came to a dead stop. There were two road-rollers ahead working on widening the narrow mountain roads. Stones and rocks fell as the machines gouged out the earth from the mountain sides. It meant a delay of one and a half hour or more. My Nepali saathi had warned me – the first thing to learn in Nepal is patience. I ate the apple I had bought and then went off to sleep. After almost one and a half hours, the bus re-started. Everybody settled back into their respective seats, each looking out for the person next to them.  It was once again like a big happy family traveling together. Children sat holding onto the arms of strangers while parents sat elsewhere knowing they will be looked after.

The bus shook and rattled; roads rose, dipped and fell; my bones felt as if they will come out of their sockets. People got down, more people got up. Parcels for unknown people were picked up and dropped. Messages were passed. Beautiful picture perfect villages set against the backdrop of snow mountains came and went. In five hours, we reached Sikles.  

An elderly fellow passenger in the bus offered me his lovely home to stay. He spoke a bit of English and Hindi and addressed me as “daughter”. I shifted between calling him “dadju” and “father”.  He took me to the viewpoint early morning next day from where we could see the himal up close. He treated me to evening snacks of roasted maize and boiled soy beans all the days I stayed there.

His joyful wife could barely speak Hindi, so most of our conversations were based on simple words and actions. Other times, it was intuitive. We joked and laughed a lot also. She told me about her youngest son who doesn’t live with them anymore. The father and the son had a fight. She is one of the last few women in the village who still weave sheep wool into blankets on a traditional handloom.       

Their daughter and grand-daughter lived with them as her husband worked in a foreign land like most young Nepali men. The daughter was reserved and had striking features. We slowly got speaking and created a space for ourselves. I helped in the kitchen while she cooked.

This Buddhist Gurung family prayed to Shiva and their own ancestors. Every time a meal was cooked, it was first offered to them before given to others. The kitchen leftovers were fed to an old stray cow with no teeth. The bones were fed to a village dog. Nothing was wasted.

In their own non-intrusive ways, they looked after me in the short while that I was there. They left me alone to stare at the mountains and read my book, frequently brining me steaming cups of kalo sugared chiya. It was Tihar, the day I left. The three of us hugged each other – mother, daughter and I. We held each other long, not a word was spoken, a silent acknowledgment to the kinship and bond that can exist only between women.

I took the jeep this time instead of the bus. My “father” came to drop me to the jeep. He told the other travellers that I was from India. We all started speaking with each other including the driver in limited Hindi and Nepali. The old woman sitting next to me kept her hand protectively on my legs and went off to sleep. It was again one big happy family travelling together. The morning autumn sun was beautiful. I looked out at the mountains, layered in mist and ever so mystical.

Living the Sacred, Daily:

Words, that form languages, are inherently violent and often corrupts. Language is rigid and structured and doesn’t allow the exploration of the vastness and depth of thoughts and emotions that we feel or can express. We say things we don’t mean. We don’t know how to say things we really mean. We interpret what others say by perceiving it from our understanding of those words.

I have been guilty of all these a million times in the past.  

Words, therefore, restrict me from expressing fully what sacredness means to me. I have struggled in my head to describe its essence but have failed repeatedly. I know what it’s not:

Sacredness is not about finding ‘divinity’

It’s not about rituals and prayers

It’s not about energies and vibes

It’s also not about being blessed

And I know how finding the sacred is changing how I live my life:

Sacredness is in having conscious conversations

It’s in deep listening – to yourself and to everything around you

It’s in trusting life and the map of your soul

It’s in understanding the inherent-ness in everything

It’s in seemingly serendipitous events and connections

It’s in being ‘conscious’

It’s also in unshackling yourself and letting go

Perhaps, the closest explanation of this can be what the Shaman master once told me – “the more individual you become, the more universal you become". When you find your intrinsic self, you find your universal self. And when you find your universal self, everything around you become sacred.

Living the sacred daily is not just limited to the few things I mentioned above. There’s more, much more. But I am unable to find any more words to express.

By the Ganga:

We had found our perfect spot.

A silent and hidden man-made outcrop covered by a young Peepal tree under which somebody had placed a stone ‘Shiva-linga’ and a Nandi close by. The grey Ganga flowed quietly in front spreading herself out on the other bank, which was empty of humans and human activities. The monsoon clouds flitted in and out across the distant hills.

The stones of the outcrop were cool and inviting. I lay down and was soon lost in the movement of the leaves as they danced about to their own mad tune. The sound of the wind amongst the leaves was lulling, captivating, broken only by the mild screeches of the grey hornbills. My friend was lost in her own world. I was lost in mine. And Ganga was lost in her own wanderings. Along with us was silence. The silence of nature and the silence of our minds.

By the Ganga - image: Bipasha M

I had never thought Haridwar could be so comforting. During my earlier travels, I had almost always bypassed the city, as I could not stand the chaos and confusion that I had always associated with the place. This is a place where religion is business, and it’s everywhere. On-the-face everywhere – something which I abhorred earlier.

This time also, I was more keen to go to Rishikesh and spend a day sitting on the white sand banks of the Ganga, surrounded by green hills. I have fond memories of Rishikesh – my first rafting trip way back in the late 90s when Ganga was free, wild, and ferocious; my first jumps from a cliff into her cold cold water - despite my fear of water; my first ‘weed’ high – a beautiful high, you can only get while sitting by the Ganga at dusk.     

This time, traffic jams on the highway to Rishikesh due to the upcoming ‘Kawariyas’ mela led us to this perfect spot instead of Rishikesh. We explored the city later in the evening – lanes and bylanes of the market filled with stuff related to religion and catering to the needs of the pilgrims. We visited temples, something which I would never have done earlier.

The day ended with a brilliant full moon shining over the distant hills and washing everything clean. The city had gone silent at night. From the top of the terrace of my friend’s ashram, I thought I could hear a faint murmuring – of Ganga still lost in her wanderings.

The ‘New’ Delhi Days:

The feeling was strange.

The sudden shift in the weather wasn’t.

It was a perfect summer afternoon thunderstorm – sudden darkening of clouds, flashes of lightning, following thunder, and then the downpour. When the showers stopped, outside the library, had collected small puddles strewn with fuchsia bougainvillea and yellow laburnum flowers that had fallen from the trees. Water dripped from the magnificent old trees in the lawn, peacocks screeched loudly sitting atop the museum building, and birds chirped everywhere. Interspersed between these sounds of nature, was silence, and a perfect wet stillness.

When I left the Nehru (Teen Murti) library, one of my favourite haunts here, it was already evening. The sidewalks of the road were littered with leaves, a heady smell of wet neem and jamun trees permeated the area, and when I looked up, I saw a brilliantly sparkling full moon rising out of the tree line. What I felt then was pure happiness coupled with tinges of nostalgia; for I had forgotten just how beautiful Delhi is.

I was happy because I was walking down empty sidewalks to the metro station, two kilometers away, in approaching darkness without fear. I was not looking over my shoulders to see if I was being followed or at the oncoming traffic wary of cars that might slow down near you; I was looking at the bright moon because I just couldn’t take my eyes off the sky.

That feeling I later realized was strange, given that I was back in a city which was crazily unsafe for girls even a decade ago. Something definitely has shifted within the collective conscience of the people of the city, and I can feel that the city is finally coming to her own after years of being trodden and used. Delhi is now at her most vibrant self, with numerous things happening at all corners – what Bombay used to be once upon a time. Public spaces are now being occupied more and more by women making it safer than before – city forests, public parks, renovated archeological monuments, city lakes, gardens, outdoor national and international cultural shows, which have been made more accessible to people. The kind of on-the-face aggression that used to exist way back in the 90s and early 2000s, is not there anymore. Moreover, and more importantly, I haven’t come across people talking to your boobs or looking you up and down before answering your question – something which was very common during those days.

To me, from an observational perspective, a couple of key events might have led to this much needed change. The metro system – which has opened up public travel especially for women like never before; the Nirbhaya incident – which has made the larger community more aware and sensitive to women and others (her death was not in vain); activities, access to activities and technology – there are so many things to do now and with smartphones etc., people are rather gainfully occupied; and then there is the younger generation – they are a breed apart: gutsy, intelligent, well-informed, risk-taking, and sensitive, and they are here in Delhi from all corners of India overshadowing the typical Delhi boys and girls. I also feel the current Delhi government has brought in much required fresh energy which might not reflect overtly but rather in these subtle shifts.

A lot still needs to change – especially in the professional front where babugiri rules and the way people are so stuck up. However, I am not going to complain. For I am beginning to really like this ‘New’ Delhi.